


The Illibrood

by Dragomir



Series: The Illibrood [1]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family, Family Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragomir/pseuds/Dragomir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illidan Stormrage and his three million children will kill him someday, Kael'thas is certain. (And, alright, he doesn't have three million children, but they are all out to get him.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> A modern au that one person asked for. It grew. I'm ~~not~~ sorry.

Kael’thas smiled stiffly at Illidan over his cup.

Three of Illidan’s little monsters glared at him behind their father’s back.  If he had to hazard a guess as to who it was under the absolute mess of marker and black rags, he would say it was Kayn, Sevis, and Izal.  

Jace, Allari, and Cyana - the ones who had practically _assaulted_ him on his way into the rambling house – were sitting at their father’s feet, somehow managing to not at _all_ look even the slightest bit chastised.  Despite their crimes.

Illidan leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples.

“Despite their…welcome,” he said, smile just as stiff as Kael’s, “my children _adore_ you.”

Kael’thas raised an eyebrow.  “And how did you come to that conclusion?”  He was never taking Vashj’s dating advice again.   _Ever._

“You’re not dead?”

_Never again._


	2. Little Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would be justifiable homicide, Kael'thas was sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Illibrood do not take well to people making a move on their dad. Just sayin'.

Kael’thas stared as his children in growing horror.

Somehow, his three children had all been doused in neon green paint.  He buried his face in his hands and wondered if it was appropriate to break down and start crying.  He knew exactly which little monsters had poured paint on his boys.  And he also knew that their father would do nothing to reprimand them.

Halduron spoke up first. “Are we in trouble?”

Rommath elbowed him in the side and kept quiet.  Lor’themar scowled at the floor and also remained silent.

Kael’thas rubbed his forehead and sighed, loudly.  After a few minutes of watching his paint-splattered children squirm, he gestured towards the back door.  “Baths. All three of you. Go.”  He turned on his heel to glower in the direction of the rambling house the Stormrage brood lived in.

“I hate him so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, everyone survives. Mostly.


	3. A Bowl of Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas gets sick and contemplates changing his locks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Illibrood will mother you, whether you like it or not.

Somehow, the most atrocious looking stuffed nightsaber had made its way into his bed.

Kael’thas stared blearily at the battered purple cat, wondering just how it had made its way into his bed.  None of his children owned _anything_ that looked so….handmade.  Lovingly crafted, yes, but _handmade_.  He blinked again, and the green spots hovering in his field of vision resolved into two bright green buttons.

He groaned.  _Of course_.

Somehow, Illidan’s brood had gotten into his home, past the servants, and had…delivered a stuffed animal?  He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.  When he was no longer quite so sick, he was going to call the security company, and have them install better locks.

Although…

He picked the stuffed animal up and propped himself up on one arm so he could study it.  Well, alright, it _did_ look atrocious, but obviously one of the brood cared enough about his health to leave a favorite toy.

And soup, apparently, judging by the bowl on his nighttable.  It was still hot.

…he was still going to change the locks.

Later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He did not, in fact, change the locks.


	4. Kael'thas v. Malfurion, Take I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas meets Malfurion, and is not impressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas v. Malfurion Stormrage, take I

The more Malfurion Stormrage spoke, the more Kael’thas wanted to punch him.

He had only encountered the man by sheer _accident_.

Malfurion Stormrage travelled in vastly different circles than Kael’thas, and he had been perfectly happy to _keep it that way_.  He had more than enough headaches dealing with the other man’s _business_ to want to deal with him _personally_ , and yet, here he was.

And here also were three of Illidan’s countless young children.

Normally, he would approve of the wild little beasts getting a lecture, but this… No. He much rather preferred listening to Illidan’s lectures - while they were more of a ‘don’t get caught next time’ variety, they were at least instructional and did not reduce three children to tears and other pesky emotions.

He swept out of the aisle he had been eavesdropping from and descended on the three of them - Jace, Cyana, and Allari, he could tell from the hairstyles - and their uncle.  His smile became the one he reserved for clients - patently false, incredibly bland, and less likely to result in his desk being on fire.

“Jace, Cyana, Allari.” He greeted each of them by name, noting the items each of them was holding.  Cheap, for this store, and not nearly as tasteless as their usual fare.  (And, surprisingly, nary a drop of day-glo green to be found on any pair of shoes.)  “Does your father know where you are?”

His smile was all teeth when Malfurion gaped at him.

Illidan’s smile, when Kael’thas returned his three wayward youngsters to him, was more radiant than the Sunwell.

It was worth finding day-glo green paint on the toes of his shoes when he got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas: 1; Malfurion: 0


	5. Hallow's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were _pumpkins._ On _his_ sidewalk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Illibrood decorated for Hallow's End. Kael'thas will be festive if he wants to be or not.

Kael’thas stared blankly at the carved pumpkins lining both sides of his front walk.  Each of them was a true work of art, if he were to judge.  Some of them were frightening, but most of them were simply ‘fun’.  His children _adored_ them.  Rommath had even laid claim to one because it was the ‘prettiest’.

 _He hadn’t bought them_.

He had _no_ idea who had delivered them.  He had no idea _why_ they had been delivered.  There was no sinister purpose to them, though.  Not as far as he could ascertain without touching them, of course.

He picked up the one Rommath had decided was the prettiest and studied the carving.  The work was entirely too delicate to have been done by a child, even though he had a feeling he knew exactly _which_ children were involved.  That being said, he couldn’t fathom _how_ that particular bastard had managed to carve such an intricate set of glyphs onto, of all things, a _pumpkin_.

Kael’thas scowled in the direction of the Stormrage house and set the pumpkin back on the walk.

He was going to have a very _stiff_ drink, and then _carefully_ enquire about the Stormrage broods’ favorite candy.

It was going to be the only way to appease those little monsters come Hallow’s Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rommath kept his pumpkin.


	6. Pilgrim's Bounty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas and his children visit the Illibrood for Pilgrim's Bounty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kael'thas thinks he'll get food poisoning from this. (There _is_ precedent with this family.)

Kael’thas had quietly contacted the family physician after accepting the Stromrage family’s invitation to their Pilgrim’s Bounty dinner.  He knew what to expect from this family.  He had come to love and adore Illidan, and tolerate his children, but their cooking left something to be desired.  Tea, sandwiches, and box-mix puddings were the extent of what _wouldn’t_ poison his small family if they ate with Illidan and his brood.

His children were _delighted_ to not be spending the day at a catered event at the law firm with their grandfather and various esteemed personages.  They were even _more_ delighted that the dress code for a Stormrage event was, par for the course, casual.  (Rommath had worn the brilliant red Defias bandanna - Officially Licensed - the Illibrood had acquired for him last Winterveil, and nothing had dissuaded him, including outright bribery.)  Kael’thas had deigned to dress down, and had brought a bottle of wine for himself and Illidan, and a large crate of sparkling cider for the children.  Food, he had been assured, was not required.

By the time dinner was served, Kael’thas had decided that food poisoning would be the least of his worries, behind the headache from over a dozen children playing monopoloy on four boards connected boards. (Curse the Goblins for creating that damn game. He couldn’t sue them for it; he’d checked.)

The dinner laid out was…surprisingly neutral.  Kael’thas had expected a slightly unsettling array of colors, but the food seemed to be relatively tame.  There was a large variety, to acomodate the tastes of Illidan’s children - two vegetarians, one lactose-intolerant, and at least four obligate carnivores, plus the rest who would eat _anything_ \- and nothing appeared to be something that would cause food poisoning.

Kael’thas smoothed his expression back into his usual charming smile, but not before Jace saw his look of shock.

“Don’t worry, we can’t poison you. Yet.“ Jace grinned as he sat down across from Kael’thas.

“Yeah,“ Kayn chimed in.  “Dinner’s been catered since dad blew up a turkey and-“  His father shoved a roll into his mouth, cutting off what would no doubt have been a _fascinating_ story.  Kael’thas smiled, chin propped on one hand.

“Never mind that,“ Illidan mumbled, cheeks flushing.  “Let’s eat!“

He’d have to get the story another time, then, Kael’thas decided as he served himself cranberries from the dish (from the catering company _he_ liked, no less).  It was going to be a _delight_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winterveil, though, was another matter entirely...

**Author's Note:**

> Illidad and the Illibrood are an acquired taste.


End file.
